Changing Your Beliefs (2)

This came to me in a blink, so I’m running with it to see where it will go…

All our beliefs exist to protect us from pain, and therefore as opportunities arise, we turn them down, or sabotage them. The ultimate protection would be to exist in a place of no pain at all – hiding under a table somewhere wrapped in cotton wool. You can see that this also denies us happiness and joy. It would be pretty boring under that table, even if there is no pain. No, we must work out a way to change our negative beliefs so that they still serve us, and change our attitudes to more positive ones.

Instead of working out what the belief is, which in a way strengthens it (!), think of situations in your life that had a not good outcome, or didn’t feel good at the time. To protect you from this next time, you probably drew a conclusion from it that became a belief that is now working against you. For any given situation, there are more than just one conclusion, so be flexible here. Remembering the situation, what other conclusions can you come to?

For example : A female has just been hit by a man, as the result of a violent argument that escalated out of control. The conclusion she reached afterwards is that all men are b******s. This becomes a belief that now denies her a good relationship with a man. In fact, she now only attracts b*****s, because subconsciously she has to prove herself right. So she only attracts bad relationships that strengthen her belief.

However, other conclusions could be : Everybody has their breaking point. If I goad a man long enough he’ll hit me. Raising my voice in anger leads to disastrous results. Any of these conclusions woud serve her better, as they would stop her from arguing in the future, and she would have to find alternative ways to resolve issues.

So, now go back to the situation you are remembering, think of some other conclusions you could have reached. Make sure they have some value that will help you in the future, not hinder you. Pick one or two, and make them your own. Don’t discard your original one, but allow it to soften by repeating the new belief everyday to yourself, with the memory of the situation. Eventually, the old one will be replaced.

This is the choice we have, to be a victim, or a victor. To choose to stay with a belief that keeps us in victim mode, and is therefore a negative belief, or to choose a new belief that will empower us.